no matter how much btr it has gotten from day one i still do not have control of my body. when i get upset my body tenses up and everything i try to do becomes a complete mess.
i hate that im not able to wear/do things i used to and my life has become so so boring.
dont ask me what im up to these days bc it will alwats be gym therapy.
and i swear to god if someone tells me one more time that im not trying hard enough when i take a day to rest im gonna bite hisher head off.
forgive me if i try to make everything seem okay because its not and im still trying to pick up the pieces.
A lot of times i feel like quitting. Like this is it. Its the best i can do. Im tired. I dont wanna make the hr commute to the gym. Im doing this myself. and its tough. Its really tough bc its a trial so personal snd you cant really ask ppl to help you. But then i remind myself that im not afraid of hard work and its so like me to hold onto the little strands of hope even when all things seem to go wrong and everything is bleak.